Crazy Head

Psychobabble success!

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:07:27 GMT

I had my annual Silhouettes show this past week and it was soooo good! Thank you everyone who came!! We got such rave reviews this year, it was totally awesome! I loved all the pieces i did, especially the Big Girls which was a huge hit w/ everyone, i think the disco ball and costumes and choreography, everything was fantastic hahaha I even had this random guy come up to me after the last show and compliment me specifically for my awesome performance/stage presence lol For all the late nites and practices and not knowing if pieces would get done in time, we really came thru in the end and put on a kick-ass show! So BIG thank yous to everyone and i'm so glad u enjoyed it! This was prolly my last time performing so this was really special :D It ended on a super super good note and i'm so happy it was such a success :D

productiveness fading

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:24:41 GMT

Oiya..... I've managed to finish 2 big essays in the past week. That basically leaves one more due in a bit more than a week... but i got the show this week, i may/may not be presenting a 4th essay on thurs (retarded class... i'm still iffy on my topic...) but at least the biggest one i got done today... I also gotta save the two days after the show to study for my two final term tests on that tues after... I want to relax for the rest of this nite... but i can't really, i should start the next essay... or really get done that stupid 5 min presentation. Why the hell do we need a visual component to this?! why?! it's five freaking minutes or less! and she wants us to present on an essay i prolly won't start writing until classes are over cuz its due the week after! she wants a powerpoint or poster or something... so stupid!! the work to put into the visual i could be using to write the damn essay! and she won't tell us which week we'll present, so we don't know if we'll present this week or next, i'd like to know so i can divide up my time! if i present next week while preparing for this week, it's taking away a good amount of time i needed to invest somewhere else! So rite now i want more than n e thing to relax but i can't... :( i'm leaning towards getting the stupid presentation out of the way so then i don't have to worry about it for the rest of the week.. alrite.. that's the goal.. At least i can spread out the 3rd essay over the week. thank god i finished one this weekend. sad as it may sound, i avged 4-5 pgs a day so over 6 days i could get it done.. This is a really pointless entry, i'm basically talking myself into a plan... I cannot wait to be done.....

p.s. I've quite fallen in love with the song Say (all i need) by One Republic. Sarah choreographed an AWESOME piece this year to it and i have total love for the dance and song, soooo good

and the hell just keeps on coming...

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:30:25 GMT

As much as I hate venting on LJ, one thing must be said, "Enough with the goddamn work already!!!"

*breathes*

I just found out (or was reinformed) today that my bioarky class has a take home exam for the last week of skool, wtf?! Granted i totally forgot about it, but it's just tacked on another thing to do b4 the end of the year. And good lord do I have a lot to do. I essentially have to finish 1 essay and media study in one week, 2 essays in two weeks and silhouettes will eat up like 5 days of those two weeks, study for two finals which are so conveniently *gags* on the same day, the same day one of those essays are due, that added take home exam in the five days of the last week of skool aka the same week the just mentioned two exams and two essays are due, plus one more essay due the week after the last week of classes. Oh! and icing on the cake, somewhere in there i have to prepare a five min presentation on the paper i'm going to write AFTER classes are over, yet i have to present either next week or the week after w/ some sort of visual presentation like a poster or powerpoint. WTF!!! yes, i am presenting everyone w/ the hell i have to endure for the next while until apr. 18, when all this crap is over. So if you happen to run into me during the time b4 the aforementioned date and i may say or do things that could be potentially harmful to social relations and physical bodies including my own, know now that I totally didn't mean to do it and i take no responsibility for any of my actions for I will not be in any right state of mind.

Goodbye sleep and goodbye world.

update! and bored/procrastinating

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:12:07 GMT

It's another one of those loooong days at skool, i just finished a very satisfactory meal from teppan-ya (altho they had the SKETCHIEST bathrooms, so sketch i didn't even make it down the stairs to whereever they are). An even $5 and u get a lot of yummy japanese food and a drink, pretty sweet. They had one of those green pass things on those evaluations too so at least someone is checking the cleanilness and chances-of-getting-stomach-sick is kinda less. I discovered a new timmy's across the street from the place rite on the corner of college and spadina, can we say SWEET, its about time they capitalized on such a prime location. Now i have more timmy's options on campus, especially since the closest ones were usually on bloor or opposite of where i had to be on campus.

Umm i opted for the anthro lounge today cuz it's quieter and more private. Lately I'd been placing myself in high traffic areas to be more sociable, but then i'd be afraid of leaving my stuff and having to trust strangers w/ my laptop and shit... Here no one really comes by except for anthro ppl who i know so i don't have to worry about that too much. Plus i have better access to comfort needs like the bathroom and fountains.. much closer (and cleaner). And as the nite wears on, ppl leave and i get this whole place to myself, even sweeter. Except i just have to worry about the giant windows and the fact that n e one walking by can see everything and i feel like i'm an attraction at the local zoo. Oh! the sink works here now so that's a plus! don't have to go far for water :D

hmm starting to get spazzy.. what else did i want to say... oh yes! dance show is coming up, apr. 3-5 at 8pm at the Betty Oliphant theatre! So things are getting pretty busy, skool is piling up, dance is getting more important... But the show is three nites so no excuses for not coming! and becuase it's in the evening, i always tell ppl to study during the day and then go see the show at nite. all i'm asking is for 3 hours of ur life, 3 hours that u mite have wasted doing something not that important n e ways. plus this will prolly be my last dance show ever (performing wise), after this year i officially put my dancing shoes in retirement. So yes! come see Psychobabble, we have an awesomely twisted theme this year. I can get tickets for u ahead of time, just tell me how many and what date, but u have to tell me asap. Last year we had two sold out nites and a near sell out on the thurs so gotta buy tickets soon!

weird things

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:03:49 GMT

hmmm so this morning i awoke to this creepy cell phone call. It was an unknown number but i thought it might be one of the dance girls telling me that practice was cancelled today. Instead it was some guy and at first i thought the connection was bad cuz it was really hard to hear, so i kept saying hello? hello? (each time trying to work the "i just woke up sound out of my voice") then i realized the idiot was whispering and kept asking "can u guess who it is? do know who it is?" Me being the not-so-great morning person that i am was getting annoyed and still having a hard time hearing this person went "i can't hear u very well so i'm hanging up now" and did. Now u'd think that if it was a prank caller and not someone i knew, they wouldn't call back rite? No! the idiot calls back like rite away so at that point i thought maybe i do know this person while still holding super suspicions. So i'm still on the fence about whether i do/don't know this person, they're still trying to get me to guess who it is, i ask why he can't talk louder to which he answers it's cuz he's sick. Now my suspicious meter just rises higher cuz 1) my limited list of guy friends and none of which i can think of calling me while they're sick 2) he sure doesn't sound that sick. Then the guy says his name starts w/ a 'J'. Hmmm that could be a lot of ppl, all of whom i'm not that close to that would call me. There's only one person who may try this spontaneous calling but that's Phil who's name starts w/ a P and is really my sister's closer friend traveling the world so he wouldn't call me. Oh! that reminds me, the idiot kept saying it's a "surprise" while he's trying to get me to guess who it was. So all the while this is running thru my head and me just giving him noncommittal noises (cuz whoever it is, i don't want to give them the satisfaction of my voice or n e names of my real friends) and he still trying to get me to guess in his stupid whisper voice, he finally let's out a "it's someone who's crazy about u" and i just hang up the phone cuz he flagged himself under the door marked prank caller/possible stalker and i was done w/ the stupid phone calls. He prolly picked the letter J cuz it could stand for joe smith or john doe or better yet what my sister named him, JACKASS. See i wish i was quick-thinking and witty like that. i'm not very good at coming up w/ sarcastic and cool-sounding zingers on the fly.

last nite i also got this "msg" from a friend on msn that looked like a pic she wanted me to see, so idiot that i am clicked the link and now it looks like i put a virus on brand new comp XD i'm hoping that i've finally got rid of it, been doing a gazillion scans and measures to get rid of it. I really don't want to reformat my comp so soon after getting it. it's been like 2 months! I just didn't expect it coming from msn of all places and using my friend's account. so maybe her comp is infected? so yea, beware of n e weird links from me (or n e one else) on msn. My latest scan can't find n e thing so i hope that's the end of it. i just hope it's not backed up itself somewhere in my comp. we'll see we'll see.

Also Happy Chinese New Year! i know it's kinda late but so many things happening this weekend b/c of it. went our for bbt w/ lukes last nite too (yes i've ended my year strike of him, things have improved so i've regained a friend from old times) next week everyone comes back for reading week! i'm very excited for that, just gotta get thru this week and then some "freedom" from skool (altho i do have essays and a midterm coming back from it) looks like i'll actually be reading for reading week XD

bored at skool

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:38:59 GMT

Yes I am still trying to write this paper :S lol i've made more progress in the last 2 hours at skool than i did at home all weekend hahahaha If only skool had some of the comforts of home, then it would be perfect! basically all i'd need is a kettle and microwave to take care of my sustenance needs. The anthro building student lounge is so not busy, almost private so it's quiet. I just wish i could also wear comfy "home wear" but those clothes aren't meant to be seen by n e one else besides my family so i have to put up w/ my jeans. I have dance practice tonite at 9 and i finished class at 1 XD I really wish i could just go home... :S and this looks like it's gonna be a regular monday thing too! Yuck.. forces me to be at skool. And mondays are days when ppl go home or have class so i don't get to study w/ ppl or have the convenience of someone watching my stuff when i go to the bathroom and such. Altho there is a guy i know rite now in the lounge w/ me and we can trust each other w/ our stuff. Since he's just a guy i know from class, we don't talk too much either so that's good. Plus this means i have to carry a lot of stuff w/ me, laptop, dance clothes, food! it keeps forcing me to eat unhealthily cuz sometimes i'll be lazy and just buy food. too bad i can't pack up a home away from home in a nice compact and "light" form. I am glad i got a laptop (despite the weight) cuz it gives me some comforts. i don't go home so late on mondays either since practice is earlier so i don't feel too wiped by the time i get home. maybe this is a blessing in disguise, makes me more studious. let's me exercise my writing skills. let's me get readings done. maybe this is a good thing.

hard time focusing

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:22:48 GMT

gotta love the weekends, i'm having a little trouble focusing on my skoolwork XD i have a little paper to write and some readings to finish, which i'll prolly just skim thru and not really absorb anything lol the huge snowstorm was cool! altho i wasn't able to see josie and her baby sis that nite cuz the roads were so bad. i'll prolly see them by reading week then. I ended up going shopping w/ my mom today too lol danier leather had a great sale and i gots me a pretty new leather jacket :D my first! was quite fun trying on everything. store was a little crazy busy but that's what crazy good sales are all about. everytime i go into the mall, all the stores are different hahah

I really need to get back into shape, my thighs and ass are starting to get beyond acceptable and entering into gross territory. i'm losing some serious muscle this year, metabolism is really low, just not feeling so healthy :S and of course, i come into these realizations and motivation when i don't really have time to do all this stuff. School work is starting to pile up and papers and readings all seem to require me to sit on my butt all day. My butt is getting too squishy :S Plus I'm a mad snacker when i do skoolwork so that's so not helping....*sigh* i sit down to do skoolwork and i feel like exercising, if i go to exercise i feel like i should be studying lol i really can't win.

future is black...

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 03:16:10 GMT

wow it's been awhile since i've done this.... but i really think i need it.... I am hating the process for grad skool SO MUCH, i like don't want to go n e more..... what if i just work for a few years and then try again when i'm older? This is all so crappy....... this has got to be the most stressed time of my life ever... nothing can compare! i'm wondering if i should look at other options besides academics... I am clearly not suited for it at this point of my life. Why can't i get a nice office job associated with culture like the museum? that way i'm a part of it yet not having to do all the academic stuff.... maybe i should just whore myself out to various companies... hopefully one of those will eventually amount to something. I'm so pissed about all this other stuff for LATER, that I'm having a hard time focusing on the stuff i have to do now. I think what I reallly want to do right now is finish school.

I had my grad photos today, that was meh. I hope i don't look heinous. I think i just reallly want to work after i'm done all this school. I think i've reached a point where I need a change from this. For 4 years i've been doing uni, it's been like 17 years of school period! I've been at the pool for 5 years, my god, i need a change! I need an out but i don't know where to go. I am just so tired of all this... maybe that's the word i'm looking for... i'm tired and all i want to do is curl up in a corner and put my head down. There has been so much stress these past 6 months, even when i'm on a "break", i'm not really free b/c there's so much crap hanging over my head in the background just waiting for the chance to harrass me. I think i'm looking for security as well. Just that reassurance that everything will be ok. that even tho things are crappy now, there's something to look forward to. I can't see anything in the future rite now and it scares the hell out of me! I used to have so much direction, confidence. Now there are so many gaps and pits in the future and i'm afraid to step forward. i think i need some soul-searching. I'm losing myself in all this shit and i hate it. I need to make a change and i gotta do it soon. Unfortunately I don't think the powers that be are willing to let me go that easily or so soon and time ain't in my corner either. Fuck this shit.... see! i've resorted to swearing and that's always a sign that "hell has unleashed its fury on alvina". Fuck fuck fuck! altho i do have to admit there is a sense of twisted release when one is in a foul mood.

There was one good highlite of my day: Puppies! There were a group of ppl clustered around this little field and i thought " Hmm, what are they all looking at?" and as the ppl parted b4 my eyes, i saw one of the most joyous sights known to mankind: pomeranian puppies! and there were like at least 6-8 of them and some guy was taking some serious pictures of them. They were so cuuute! i am totally getting a pom in the future, hopefully that'll be a certainty. They were cute and they gave me a spark of happy today. I definitely need a pom... hehehe

first entry of 2008! a crappy start to the new year!

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:15:56 GMT

Well this new year is off to a great start! and i mean that in a MOST sarcastic way! how did the christmas cheer take a nosedive over the past week or so? oh, i'll tell you.

Compared to last year's rockin new year where we spent it w/ half the population of Tokyo at the Meiji Shrine doing their new year thing and everyone celebrating into the wee hours of new year day, I started out by getting sick on new years eve (ok the 30th really) and thus no going out, spent it w/ family immediate family so i wasn't completely alone, but still a morally depressing and unhealthy start to the new year. I've finally recovered enuf for last weekend outtings and able to actually DO stuff around the house instead of lying in bed w/ weakness. today is the first day in a long while that i've actually been on a computer and checked email and stuff. I had to check my agenda and realized that my UBC application is due in exactly two weeks! where did my sense of deadline go?! holy crap, i've just realized u of c is even sooner! why did i have it in my head that my jan apps were much later'? i thought i had time for skool to start b4 i looked at apps again so i could get other references.... omfg....... now i'm all stressed out again on my waning days of holiday.. i want to rewind the last two weeks holy crap......

this is definitely a lasting low in my life... i haven't had a constant state of low in well... ever! this is starting to span over a month now! prolly two! thank god my sister is w/ brian rite now and i get the room to myself tonite cuz i can sulk and breakdown if i need to... wtf am i doing?!?! i so do not have it together rite now... and there is so much pressure to not turn out like my sister rite now, no job, not really doing n e thing and it frsutrates the hell out my parents who then put pressure on me and start seeing "signs" that i may end up like her. maybe they really are if i'm making huge mistakes like these! now i'm questioning if i'm really ready for grad skool if this is how things are turning out...at least god has kicked me now rather than next week when things would have been even later! now i feel like i totally wasted my holiday... and i knew it was the time to do apps! why did i think i had more time? idiot!!

and it makes me even more depressed that i'm ranting on LJ!! i mean i know thats what it's here for and it'd be really embarrassing to rant like this to another human being, a sane one at that... but then i don't want to dump this shit on ppl cuz then that would make me feel even more bad that i'm being such a downer and prolly making them feel like a garbage can where i'm dumping all my emotional shit onto them and i can't do that to friends, n e one for that matter! god what is wrong w/ me?! ok... freak out is over... for now..

Merry xmas to me!

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 06:18:10 GMT

I FINALLY got a new laptop! *happy dance* a little sooner than i planned but it was a really good deal and i am quite pleased w/ my purchase! Not the pretty Dell comps that i had my eye on the past few months but i went for practicality over aesthetics and rite now, i think black and silver is just what my mood is asking for these days. I ended up getting a toshiba, slightly older model than what we originally went to the store to look at, but there was really little difference between the new and the old, actually the "old" had better processing and a way better graphic card (which is like my #2 priority). Also had the cool touchpad my brother's has where u can turn it off and such and i really liked that. The other "newer" model (and more pricey) only had a webcam, so-called HD, bluetooth and some new wireless config no one uses yet going for it. Oh and better stereo apparently. AKA things i don't really need and not really worth the difference. I'd go for the better hardware and graphic card n e day.

u'll also find it funny to hear that i'm not writing this entry w/ my new laptop! lol i have my essay due on mon and it's on this comp already so i mind as well finish it here. Plus i don't have the time to remove and switch things over rite now (yet do have some time for a little LJ entry) so i'll test my new baby out mon nite after i hand in this paper. I also don't know if my printer is compatible w/ Vista which is a rather large problem ppl have w/ the system. Stuff just isn't made for it yet, once the rest of the world catches up it should be fine but my printer is way old and most likely won't work and i need it to work!

So this was my xmas present to me! Hurt my bank account a bit which was a little sad to see but i guess that i'll just have to work more. It's also good that we're getting a raise next session! Makes me happy cuz min wage was going up and it was pissing me off that ours was staying the same. So yay a healthy raise next session that will certainly help me make up the money i've spent and have yet to spend on xmas gifts for other ppl who matter lol Also means I shouldn't spend money on myself for the next few months XD Therefore if ppl are having trouble figuring out what i want for xmas, i'll have a list prepared :P hahaha n e ways i should get back to my work on pig/dog domestication in china! oh what a happy subject

p.s. I had a major meltdown a couple of days ago from lots of stress and i had a good cry, haven't let myself cry like that in a loooong time. Talking to ppl also helped but wow, that cry really took a chunk out of me and i've been strangely desensitized to the thing that was stressing me out in the first place. it's like someone snipped a nerve towards the issue and i can't feel a thing about it n e more. So if ur feeling down, realllly down, let urself have a BIG cry, let it all out, followed by some comforting words from those who make u feel better and then u lose almost all feeling about whatever u cried about. well.. that at least worked for me :)

distraction

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 00:27:18 GMT

lah dee dum, i'm taking a "break" from studying... let's see... last nite we went out to dinner with my cousins and their kids. My cousin bosco went back to HK this morning so we had to see him one more time b4 he left. but at least the kiddies were there! they're so cute! They laid claim to us, timothy likes my sister more while justin attached himself to me. I think i definitely got the better end of the deal lol There is such contrast in those two! such opposites! I basically got the better-looking, smarter, studious, gentle, kind one while my sister got the not-so-great looking, wants to play all the time, sometimes rough and gross yet also kinda cute acting timothy. I know its a little awful sounding to compare but u really can't help it! Timothy is just a poor victim of unfortunate circumstances, parents now officially divorced plus a creepy, weird dad (unacknowledged by the rest of the family, only my cousin and timothy have to have contact with her ex). Justin's parents are together, i guess they're happy altho my cousin is a little immature, i'm glad whitnii, his wife, can kinda counteract any negative affects this may have on justin. But by the end of the nite everyone is friends, it's just a matter of who the kids remember played w/ them more in the past. My sister saw timothy a lot when she visited by late aunt w/ my mom and justin wasn't there. I think only i represented the last time we visited them with both kids there. It's nice to see the next generation all happy and innocent, especially w/ the holiday season approaching!

Today my sister and I also strung up some xmas lights on the tree right next to out porch steps. It's amazing how tall it's grown! i still remember when we could look over the top of it. now it's like another xmas tree. not sure how it looks tho, need dad to get the xtension cord from whereever he keeps it. All the snow makes it more xmas-like too! it made me sad the last couple of years when there was no snow at xmas... XD

ok must keep studying! i've been juggling it w/ grad apps today too! getting a little stressed over that... i need supporting documents now! i'm so overwhelmed by the process....

visitation and funeral

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 19:59:23 GMT

so wed and yesterday were the visitation and funeral from my aunt. I was quite taken aback when i saw her b/c it really didn't look like her. I mean from far away and looking at the profile i could see it, but once u got up close and looked at her face on, whole different person. My mom and I agreed that it was hard to connect her w/ the body and therefore didn't really cry cuz it's not her, just the empty shell. What i did tear up for tho, was when i saw my cousins and uncle crying during the final stuff, that was sad. My cousin joe was quite impressive, he was handling all the eldest son duties ver well. Her grandchildren were there and quite happy, bless their little hearts, they don't really know what's going on. If they weren't there I would prolly have been really bored. They were very attached to me, it was really nice, they came and sat on my lap during the ceremony part. They gave me something to focus on. Apparently my aunt joined this japanese buddhist religious group, they were all very nice ppl, about 20 of them or so. It was quite a different religious experience. Their "praying" was chanting this one line over and over again but they gave it sound/music so it was musical chanting. God help me, it was kinda funny. They had to keep chanting for like an hour for this ceremony and sometimes they would pause, ring a bell three times, then start up again. Each time they started up again my mom and i had to hide our smirks. We had to drive down to a place near bloor for the crematorium. The one where the funeral was at needed to be fixed cuz they forgot to take the pacemaker out of someone and it blew up in the crematorium. So the one we had to use was really different. We went into the funeral chapel, they placed the coffin on the pedestal thingy, and much to our surprise thye coud press a button and the coffin would go down into the floor to the depths of this building. It was really horrible sounding tho, lots of clanking and machines, sounded like you were in a factory, or like u were lowering ur loved one into somewhere really inappropriate. Maybe like the workshops of Hell, they really gotta do something about the sounds. We also drove to the cemetary where her ashes would be housed. I really liked this cemetary, it'll be in the building and this place has it where u buy the case where u hold the ashes and its like a display case, so u put in pictures, u can place their glasses, watches, things that were really "theirs" during life. It was really interesting looking at other ppls cases. They had mini foods, crystal figures, stuffed animals... It was a really nice concept that I think i really like. When we got home, we had to burn the chinese traditional stuff and walk over the burning stuff before we entered our house. Its what we're supposed to do after every funeral apparently....

Now that we can move on, i get to focus on skool, 2 more weeks!

boo skool

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:16:07 GMT

AHHHH! my deadlines are piling up! i didn't realize my essay was due in a WEEK but we didn't get our work plans back a week b4 n e ways, thank god she's being nice and letting us ask for extension if we need it. I would prefer NO extension tho, i'm really trying to get it in on time cuz i need that time for other stuff. Cue my attempts to pull essays out of my ass in a week. Also not good: my aunt took a scary turn last nite, we were afraid she wouldn't even make it thru the night but thankfully she has and then some. Things are a little precarious, mom and sis are going to the hospital now... THere's so much going on that i don't know hwat i should be doing. I mgiht ask my prof for a couple of days more... bah i just have to get as much as i can done. Twill be a busy two weeks! I shall go underground until after dec. 15, then i'll be free for xmas break (and grad apps).

it's like my very own reading week!

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:18:52 GMT

hmm! i guess today was a good day! i essentialy had no class this week... yesterday prof. shen took us to the rom for class so we could look at the asian exhibit. The ROM is really nice on the inside btw ever since they "renovated", except for the butt ugly tumor growing out the side overhanging bloor st., it's quite pretty inside, very "worldly tourist presentable". The ROM was fun, FIELD TRIP! we got a personal "tour" of the Chinese exhibit, he showed us what he thought were the most important pieces out of the exhibit (and sometimes the whole frickin museum) plus little anecdotes about how they acquired the pieces or the history behind them. And I think i literally got a pat on the back from him when i asked a good question during our free-reign-and-ask-questions period *pats self on back*.

I went downtown today to do some admin stuff for skool at my registrar b4 class. Usually there's a massive crowd waiting to get inside but today there was no one, so something was up. The few of us who did show up were clearly the ones who-don't-have-internet-access-during-the-day, found out she had cancelled class due to illness. I also clearly did not get this email 3 hours b4 class when i did check my email for the day. So i kinda went downtown for nothing today (oh and had to take the bus home cuz of this development) but hey, no class this week!

I was expecting to get an essay proposal back in class but that clearly did not happen. So I can't start my final essays until i get my topics which will prolly happen next week. So i get my own personal reading week! and how am i going to spend this "free" time? Clearly not for academic purposes when i look back on this next week in hind sight two weeks from now and swamped with work. (does that make sense?)

In some non-skool news, i went to rohit's b-day last fri. my god it was like high skool reunion, i saw ppl that i never talked to (and didn't talk to that nite) and haven't seen since high skool. They obviously weren't ppl i cared about cuz i totally forgot their names lol ashley helped me out on that bit. I finally got to wear this gorgeous top i recently got but didn't think i'd have an occasion to wear at anytime soon. The shoes i wanted to wear i couldn't find so i wore an old "back-up" pair. My god, i haven't put my feet thru such torture in a long time. They were a pair of ankle boots that i've had for awhile and on previous occasions were perfectly fine since they trooped me to dinner events. I've never worn them to places that involved a lot of walking and standing and dancing. NEVER again will these shoes go clubbing with me. I was incapacitated the next day and still bear the scars that haven't fully healed from that nite on the back of my heels. altho i forgot about the pain while we were "dancing" aka barely able to move in a highly crowded square area. I really like Lot 332, yes it's a tad pricier for cover ($10), but it's so ritzy inside and they enforce dress code to the tee so everyone's all dressed nice. It's refreshing to see guys in dress shirts, ties and nice shoes. Plus we girls got in b4 even rohit cuz for some reason they split the line into guys and girls *shrugs* the music is really good and the ceiling opens up. oh! and u get like a "personal bathroom" cuz the sink and toilet and mirror are all in the "cubicle" (let's face it, it's a bathroom). Met a nice and i think slightly drunk white dude named Barry. He was like a free personal self-confidence booster, u know those ppl u pay to tell u that ur beautiful and wonderful when ur feeling down over some personal obstacle, only i wasn't down and i didn't have any personal obstacles. Plus he wasn't butt ugly, actually nice/normal looking so i didn't drive him away rite away hahaha The compliments were nice but alas, i am nothing but a humble soul and dutifully sent him on his way to bestow compliments on other girls who could never be my equal. *eyeroll* lol good times!

p.s. rohit gets really friendly with his guy friends when he's drunk XD lol he insisted on giving ian a kiss on the cheek hahahaha and his brother...

slow down reality

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 03:29:42 GMT

The ASA is getting a little draggy, i kinda feel obligated to do stuff yet shouldn't feel guilty if i don't. I'm definitely not even putting that much effort into it. I didn't have dance tonite so i skipped my office hour (it's from 6-7, no one ever comes!! there's practically no one in the building cept for the creepy cleaning guy!). I forgot Tara had buffy nite until she called me tho XD lol I am looking forward to the ASA pub nite tho! it's "left over halloween" cuz it's on thurs. apparently it's a costume party but... i haven't really thought of dressing up... so i have no idea what i'll be doing about that.

I had a meeting w/ my prof today to talk about grad skool, options, what i should be doing... I hope he doesn't think i'm a total dork... lol but i got some insight on where i should be applying if i'm still set on doing china work and that i should be contacting and researchnig the various grad departments specific for me. If i want China, then my options are more limited, specifically to Simon Fraser, UBC, UofT, the states, or international. But if i focus on bones then i can apply to pretty much n e where. He also said he encourages his students to go to other academic institutions cuz doing all ur degrees in one place doesn't really look that impressive. If u go somewhere else, u see how they view things and get more diverse opinions. The idea of going out to BC really appeals to me. I just really gotta look at their grad programs.... and get my marks up. I'm so scared my marks aren't good enuf, like i'm prolly just skimming the bare minimum which is so not good, so competitive! He also said u gotta depend on luck a bit too XD hahahaha ARGH the future is scary.......

hot yoga

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:35:14 GMT

So i experienced something new on mon and yesterday. My ballet friend asya asked me to go w/ her to a hot yoga class at this place on campus. Now i've never done yoga b4 and frankly never had much interest cuz it looked boring. For those who don't know, "hot yoga" is yoga done in a sauna-ish room, basically a hot room. The dude was super nice and slightly freaky, everyone was so friendly, us being first-timers. they had an intro special where u pay $10 for the first class and get a second one free! but u have to do the second class w/n the week of the first. u have to put towels over the mats, for grip? I think it's to soak everything up. good lord, i have never sweat so much in my life! and it's not like ur doing n e thing too "active", i mean there are physical demands on ur body but it's not like a cardio workout. Ur heart is pumping faster cuz of the heat and u gotta concentrate. I found yoga to be a lot of balancing and stretching and twisting ur body in unnatural shapes. Oh and lots of deep breathing. the teacher had a very good voice for yoga tho, all soft, relaxing, half the time i couldn't hear/understand what he was saying but the snippets that i did catch were funny as hell. my favourite line was, "be like cheesecake, heavy and soft..." but u cna't laugh, everything has so be relaxed, no sounds, everyone is in a zone. It wasn't the most horrible experience in the world. I think i got into it during the class cuz the other ppl were into it. I think that if it wasn't in a hot room, i would have been bored out of my mind. All the sweating makes u think that u really really worked at it and my god, u will never experience such a heavenly shower until u've done hot yoga. it's so ridiculous how much u sweat while participating in this. My clothes were so soaked (and so gross), that shower was heaven. And the dude had shampoo, conditioner, and soap there too in big bottles. The shower was also quite liberating ! because after being so drenched in sweat, u just want to peel off ur clothes and run to the shower. u don't become self-conscious at all, everyone's naked! it's awesome lol i'm very not conservative when it comes to public changerooms, only if everyone else is worried about flashing do I cover up out of consideration (but it takes so much longer to change!) I think n e other friend of mine may have been a little conscious, but asya and i are so used to quick changes from dance, we've seen a lot of each other over the years. I'll admit, this is the first time we ever went buck-naked in front of each other, but we never even gave it a second thought. Yes nudity is quite liberating!

yesterday i also had to run to dance practice rite after that class so i think i've had more exercise in the last two days than i have for the last 4 months lol i'm quite sore in places, mainly my back. I don't think i'll go back to yoga n e time soon, it can get pricey, plus i don't have the time rite now. but if i do feel like going, i'd definitely do hot again, doing it in a normal temp room doesn't seem as fun. i do see the appeal in yoga, especially for those who don't wanna run or lift weights, it's a nice way to stay healthy (and stretchy). Dancing all these years makes it seem a bit tame for me, i didn't have like a religious experience with it (altho i'm sure some ppl do) i think it is worth trying at least once tho. So here is something new to try, if u haven't already done it :)

sooo slow

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 04:01:32 GMT

omg i want to kill my comp... or my internet connection, either one. Internet is soooo slow and i NEED it to get articles and stuff for my mid-term assignment... XD and articles are so full of stuff that it takes forever to load just a peak of the article i MAY use. Thank god the assignment isn't tooo difficult, just tedious in nature. I'm definitely feeling the pressure of 4th year... I have all my deadlines for grad skool apps but not too sure about funding and grants, those are all so confusing... can't i look at that stuff after i apply and see if i even get in? I don't wanna think about all the stufff i need to do, it's really intimidating, just let me get in! that's all i ask.... the future is scary, i really can't see what's gonna happen in the year to come.

I had a dream last nite that lovely, creepy, depressing and bittersweet all in one. if only things in real life could be like my dreams! sometimes i can fly, if n e thing is getting weird and scary i can kinda pressure myself into a new setting and set of events. It's so hard not transferring things that happen in ur dreams into real life tho, like ppl u know in ur dreams hook up/break up and then u wake up thinking that it really happened. awkward....... hahaha n e ways, last nite's was hanging all over me all day like a bad shadow....

for once i'm in a msn chatting mood. I like rarely talk to ppl.... but i see some ppl i can bug hehehehe it'll help relieve the dullness that is research

best invention ever!

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 21:59:04 GMT

This is gonna sound so lame, but my family finally has call display on our home phone! yay! hahahha now we can finally screen all those annoying telemarketers and ppl we don't want to talk to! :D hahahaha but the most fun part is that this particular phone we got also says who is calling. like literally SAYS who it is in a somewhat creepy robotic lady voice but we find great amusement in this particular feature. We all wait in eager anticipation for the phone lady to say who the heck is calling and laugh when it finally does. Yes, we are such nerds.

i have a couple of assignments due this week. kinda easy, hence the lack of motivation to do work. i think i work better under pressure. i plan on finishing a first draft tonite and do my editing tmorrow, then i'll work on the second assignment due next monday. yup yup, that's the plan.

Bye-bye poochie :(

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:08:06 GMT

Boohoo... we gave away poochie on fri :( it was quite sudden, I woke up and headed downstairs to see my sister heading out the door w/ all of poochie and her stuff for the car. I was like wtf?! at least i got to say bye to her but it was still quite sudden! I didn't like how my sister didn't tell us she was giving her away so soon, she wanted to do it all secretly and see our surprise and rxn to find her gone. It's all weird now, cuz i expect to see her looking at me whenever i walk into the living room to like turn on a light or the tv, but now she's not there n e more! granted i haven't seen my fireplace in a long time, but i'm so used to saying random stuff and teasing poochie. Even tho i couldn't look after her as much as i would have like b/c of my allergies, i was still attached. It's ok tho, there has been tlak of giving her away for awhile (just didn't think it'd be so soon!) So yes, bye-bye to poochie, at least u didn't go the way of our last chinchilla XD

yvonne and ian's b-day was fun, it was nice to hang out w/ ppl, hadn't had a social outting in awhile. Got to see tat! :D hehehe altho by the end of the nite i really wished i could have been drinking. I didn't expect a dance floor at the fox and the fiddle. I thought it would just be a bar..... and there weren't any cute guys so that was a little disappointing.. lol was funny to see yvonne and ian drunk. was overall a good nite, now i have to start studying again, i need to regain my motivation!

Tonite we have thanxgiving dinner at brian's house. It'll be a little awkward, but the food will be good, i gotta figure out what to wear. I hope some neighbour friends will be there or something (like Ian... mmmm total man whore but so cute and actually READS!) it's fun w/ the young ppl cuz the nite always ends w/ playing an old board game in their basement from like the 1980s, so hilarious!

okees, i'm off to "study". THank god we don't have skool tomorrow hhaha

mopey

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 23:42:01 GMT

Today is my dad's b-day! we're supposed to go out for dinner, but we have to wait for my brother and i am SOOOO hungry! i'm like a zombie when i'm in dire need of food, i get tired, weak and my head starts throbbing. Soon soon... gotta wait a little longer and then i can stuff myself...

I had the biggest "wardrobe malfunction" at work today! my bathing suit has finally died (after 5 trusty years). I was teaching the school grp kids when all of a sudden, my suit started feeling looser around my bum. the seam basically ripped along the butt crack line XD thank GOD i was still in the water and could like.. shimmy around to hide it hahahaha since it's daytime there's not many ppl and also thankfully i brought my shorts out on deck so i could wriggle into those after some strategic walking and timing so i wouldn't moon everyone lol so i have to use my emergency lycra suits tomorrow or until i can get a new polyester suit. i'm surprised it's lasted so long! Yay polyester bathing suit! hahaha I ended up teaching w/ my shorts on for the rest of the day too lol

i was all mopey yesterday. my class got cancelled, half the skools i wanted to see at the grad skool fair weren't there...:( had no one to hang out w/.... i need more friends lol i'm looking forward to yvonne and ian's b-day outting on fri, i really feel like DRINKING too but i'll prolly have to drive that nite... :( i don't think i'll go to the dinner b4hand tho... can't get there until 9ish n e ways so dinner would be like, over :P Last few days i've been in a rut, think my social meter has been running on empty so it's time for some good times! nothing like hanging out w/ ppl to get out of a rut.

i need some music! i'm off to go play

Class rep here I come!

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:57:35 GMT

So in light of the light homework load this semester, I've suddenly found myself signing up for stuff that I may/may not have time for. Hmmm... I went to my first Anthropology Student's Association meeting (ASA) after 2 years of being in the department. I finally kicked myself in the butt to join cuz well.. hey, it's a good opportunity to make more contacts and get more access to info i mite not otherwise get if I didn't join. So i signed up to be a "minister" for fundraising when those come about and one office hour a week to just basically sit in the ASA office and pretty much just do homework. We're just there in case ppl have questions or want past tests, etc. i LOVE the new Anthropology building! It's about time the department had its own building, it's a huge faculty! It used to be the old physical geography building and located near my classes (which are both btw in the SAME classroom, how nuts is that?). It's all newly renovated too! ok they're still in the finishing touches of renovation but we can move in there now. There's a nice little student lounge which is awesome, even better right now cuz no one knows about yet! I hope it doesn't get crowded later *crosses fingers* Wow i went off on a tangent! let's get back on track....

Silhouettes had their audition week for new members, the night i went, there seemed to be a considerable drop in auditionees compared to last year but i could be wrong cuz the 2nd nite we expected huge numbers. They seemed a little meh to me but that's ok! I felt the calibre of dancers was getting a little TOO high in a sense b/c this company is quality, yet also for those who just want to keep up w/ there dancing w/o hours and hours of dance class a week. hehehe I'm not planning to dedicate too much time to silhouettes this year, it really does take up a lot of time when the hours are messy and i can't afford to put in a two hour commute for just two hours of practise on a day i don't have class. That's four hours of my life gone when i could be studying. We'll see hour scheduling goes...

A bit more good news on Operation-Make-Good-Contact-With-Prof. Shen! hahaha I went to the ROM on Tues to try and find my readings for homework and photocopy them. We have to use the ROM library, it was cool! i got to use the staff entrance and feel all special hehehe apparentlhy the chinese department is up there! pretty cool. The lady must have been so frustrated w/ me cuz i was missing the sources for the articles. I thought i would just need title, author, year but lo and behold, uoft search engine needs JOURNAL source. :P so after i gave up on that i borrowed the textbook copy so that i could do some studying. I didn't realize there were a bunch of offices in the library (and I was blowing my nose so loudly too! i thought i was alone..*blush*). Anywho, Prof. Shen comes out! Of course I had to say hi and it was realllly good timing b/c I had just sent him a reply to his email and he hadn't read it yet but saw it coming, and he had the coursepack w/ all my readings! So now i could finally photocopy them all! He said he'd go read my email and i went to photocopy. When i came back he asked if he could talk to me (Yes!!!!) I volunteered to be class rep and apparently no one else wanted to be so I got it! :D That means greater flow of communication! So now he definitely knows who i am and will totally help me when it comes to grad skool stuff! :D So nice that my plan is coming along nicely!

I've also been having some serious deja vu this weekend. Things that i think i dreamed about b4 , small snippets of stuff but i know i've never DONE any of these b4 but i'm pretty sure i've seen in dreams. So freaky!

and the procrastion begins..

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:27:24 GMT

This is unbelievable, start of the 2nd week of skool, arguably the first week of studying to begin and i'm already procrastinating! *slaps self* thankfully the work load isn't tooo big yet, altho i'm only taking two courses this term so really, i shouldn't be complaining AT ALL. But i do feel the need to report about some good and some bad things happening in me life rite now.

Let's start w/ the most important:

-Some bad news: my aunt just called like half an hour from the hospital, she's had cancer for a long time now and once in remission for a long time as well, recently w/n the last year or two it's come back. Things had been going alrite, but she didn't sound too good just now. She's in a lot of pain so my mom and sis are going to visit and hopefully help translate to the doctors that she needs more meds/morphine or something to deal w/ it. We're hoping she'll get better yet also aware that it's bad enuf that she mite not make it to see alyssa get married in the next near years

-Some good news: Stedman had his G2 test today and passed! now we don't have to chauffeur him around n e more, he's long overdue to get it. Now he needs to get his G quickly b4 his license expires :P

-A little more good news: My prof for arky of ancient china called for me at the end of class today, which surprised me. We had to fill out student surveys during the first day and noticed that i have a strong interest in pursuing chinese arky. He told me he sent an email today but also told me in person that he wanted to know who i was and would be happy to discuss "my future" and possible grad study options! I was so excited! This is the prof that I planned to get to know and he came to me instead! So I plan to talk to him next week about "what to do", I'd love to work w/ him actually, he's really cool. He actually got me interested in Paleolithic era which surprised me cuz i'm not too keen on Hunter-gatherer stuff. Kinda makes up for having to take the H-G course next semester. If i had the options this year, I would NOT have chosen the H-G, but alas I didn't have much to choose from so i stuck w/ it. Now i'm kinda glad i am.

So there's the good and the bad, I should really start getting to work, I need to impress this prof over the next few months, If i can't work w/ him, he'd make a damn good reference! Motivation be mine!

music me

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 03:57:34 GMT

Finally had my last weekend of work for the summer. Now i start work this week for the Fall! lol at least i'm going back to guarding and teaching, reception is fun but i get paid more doing the former. I was sad that i didn't get a supervisor shift tho, apparently we have a lot of supes rite now so i guess i'll just spare as one. It's so sad! our aquatic coordinator karin ash is leaving like this week! we only got her like a couple of months ago and sh is like the best boss ever! so motherly and sweet! we had a really good team in her w/ sam and now she's leaving... :( she got promoted which is good for her but we're a bit sad cuz now we're left in limbo again. What are the odds we'll get someone as good as she is?! But i still wish all the best for her, everyone's boss should be like her.

I also have to report that i had a milestone in my guarding career on sat! I had to jump into the pool for the first time in 4 years! a girl started drowning after coming out of the shotgun slide. yes quite proud of myself hehehe

I also rented a violin from cosmo music on sat. $20/month! i went there w/ only the intention of finding out how much it would be, but then he told me it was only 20 bucks and i was like i'll take it! hahaha i don't know if my timing is great tho now that skool is starting as well. but i only have two classes this semester so i think it'll be ok.

feeling a little out of touch w/ ppl now that skool is starting tomorrow. everyone has moved back and such. still not ready for skool yet.. :S here's to hoping for a good skool year!

cne and lantern festival

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:41:53 GMT

yesterday after my brother and i went to staff training (which we finished in a record one hour!) we went to the CNE and Ontario Place cuz it was my dad's company day so we get free admission and other stuff for a fun day. We also took along one of stedman's friends cuz my sister was up in ottawa for a wedding and another bridal shower for brian's family and friends. the weather was perfect not too hot and just a little nippy at nite, we brought jackets in foresight. Highlite of the day was definitely seeing the chinese lantern festival! i was so disappointed when i couldn't see it last year and was so happy when i heard they were doing it again this year! It's not as huge as i imagined it would be, but it was still really pretty! I kept thinking this would be so perfect for a date or something.. XD then proceeded to glare at all the couples hahahaha we also got these cool candy on a stick that this old chinese man was making right there and it's really neat! we've never seen anyone do this so we had to buy some. That guy was making really good money lol everyone wanted one and i think he was having a hard time keeping up. i'll put up pics once i upload them onto the comp. and a video of the guy making them! so simple yet so cool! aha! My sister has come home! i want to hear about her weekend so i'll update this again later.

better days

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 22:00:44 GMT

I think i managed to wait out the awkward moments w/ my mother so things are ok now. I've just been working a bunch. I seriously think there's a bee home in my garage, the little buggers keep trying to get in and there's always like 2 or 3 floating about in front of the garage it's so freaky. Plus we had bees in the pool hallway on mon so we had to send all the patrons thru the staff door to get into the pool and changerooms. That was quite the adventurous day, those of us in the reception office had to climb in and out of our window to get out cuz we couldn't use the door or else bees would get out of their containment. But yes, we have bumblebees floating about in front of the garage and i want them gone! it'll be a hell of a time trying to find a nest and frankly i don't want to find one. i hate swarms of n e bugs so finding a bee home will just be a nightmare. I hope we can hire someone to get rid of them.

I tried so hard but i couldn't get the night of the semi-formal off work which is kinda sucky. I was looking forward to partying on the boat. :( Don't think i've done one of those yet...that's the downside to reception, it's really hard to find a replacement cuz there are so few of us. Debating if i want to go to CNE/Ontario place w/ my parents this weekend too. I really want to see the lanterns! altho i don't know if it's included w/ the company thing that day.

hmm i'm a little beat from today, was a long day at work and then i went to a couple of grocery stores w/ my mom and had to carry lots of food back. Just wnat to relax now...Season finale of so you think you can dance tonite! I'm working tomorrow nite so i need to tape the results! hahaha